Honesty

I have been trying to publish a post for this blog since I posted the last one, but I could not hit the publish button. I have posts about chocolate chip cookies and pancakes ready to go, but it feels like posting things like this paints a picture that everything is perfect. I love to write and share all of the cool things that I find. Maybe that’s the reason why I like to look at other people’s blogs when I’m looking for a new recipe or idea and I love the sites that are beautiful and curated. It’s a nice little escape. I’m sure that I will be posting about pancakes and cookies soon because I do love to cook. I think that I just need to get this off my chest and I want people to know that it’s not all nice pictures here. Things have been just hard and not just this year in dealing with the pandemic, but it’s been hard for myself and family for a long time. I always feel bad when I say that out loud because I know there are many people and families that have it much harder than I do. Our hardships mostly deal with mental health and just health in general. I know that more and more people are talking about and are more accepting of mental health, but I still do feel like it’s a taboo topic. I used to try and talk about things because I think that sharing and making people more knowledgeable about this issue was the right thing to do. Maybe they have a similar circumstance and then they would know that they’re not alone because we felt very alone, especially in the beginning. We still feel alone. I’ve stopped talking about anything that isn’t just surface talk finding that when I’m explaining to someone what is going on that they either don’t know what to say, try to change the subject, or just say they’re sorry. I have learned to just put a smile on my face and say one word answers if some asks how are you or if I feel like I can’t do that then I just don’t meet up with anyone or call anyone. I know that might sound mean, but I only have so much in me. Needless to say, our sphere of people has shrunk over the years because our ability to do things is limited and I understand. Like I said I just needed to get that off my chest and I’ll be back to the regularly scheduled program soon because the cookies and pancakes are good and you need to make them. I have turned off comments because I’m not writing this for sympathy. Sometimes things are just hard and things just suck.